Losing Dad

I wrote this as I sat at my dad’s bedside on Saturday…

Dad can barely wake now. He doesn’t know I’m in the room with him.

Today is day 7 since he has eaten and he is only getting fluids when he takes his pills. That will stop soon too. This morning my sister could barely get him to take them.

Otherwise, he is asleep, and I am paranoid.

I look over every few minutes to check for breathing, like a new mom would do to her newborn child.

I watch for the rise and fall of his chest. I can see his heart beating through his frail, little chest and I know that will soon stop too.

Dad is still here, but already gone at the same time.

I feel a strange sense of calm and panic all at once. I already miss him.

….Dad passed away just hours later.

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