I have always been ambitious. I have been an over-achiever and perfectionist for as long as I can remember. I’ve always been goal-oriented. I’ve always been working toward something – being the first in my family to get a college degree, getting a promotion, becoming debt free, running a business, getting in shape.
In recent years, I had two businesses – I sold makeup online for over 4 years and for about 2 years, I had an online clothing boutique with my sister. And I enjoyed it. Selling makeup especially, got me out of my post-baby funk and forced me to focus more on myself. Through the process of being in direct sales, I discovered the world of personal development and never looked back. About a year and a half ago, I quit both of those things for various reasons. And since then, I haven’t had anything to occupy my time. I haven’t had anything meaningful to work toward. No creative outlet. No goal to accomplish.
I’ve felt a little lost to be honest. And I feel like this lack of direction is affecting my relationships. I’m bored, stir crazy, restless, needy. I’ve been thinking about this for over a year now, waiting for the right business opportunity or hobby to jump out at me, but so far, nothing. The truth is, I have no idea what I want to do. I have no idea what I’m good at.
Today, I got to thinking. What if?
What if I taught a personal development course to women? About personal finance? Self care? Bettering oneself? Work-life balance? Confidence? What if I learned handlettering and sold artwork? What if I became a realtor who offered staging? What if I finally became a life coach? What if I started a lifestyle brand? What if I wrote more frequently in my blog? What if I turned going to the gym into a hobby? What if I picked up yoga? What if I finally joined a bowling league?
Instead of inspiring me, the options feel daunting. And, admittedly, the perfectionist in me is afraid to start something that I might not be good at. So, I do nothing. But I’m not fulfilled. That much is clear.
I’m not even sure where to start.
Jaclyn Knight 